what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
