well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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