And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
