So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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