Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
