I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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