it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
