In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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