Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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