I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
