ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
