big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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