I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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