Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
