If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
