Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
