We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
