The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
