I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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