She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
