So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
