I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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