I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
