your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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