Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
