The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
