tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
