I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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