Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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