I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
