I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
