Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
