White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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