You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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