i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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