How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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