her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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