Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
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