pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
