i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
