so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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