Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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