Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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