well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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