You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
