u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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