so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I touched a dick in church today
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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