Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
