I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
