Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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